Viva TransWorld!

With a heavy heart, I boarded a plane bound for Milan, Italy, on Monday morning, ultimately heading to the site of the 2009 Red Bull Motocross of Nations. I didn’t want to go, taking my brother’s recent injury into consideration, but Ross urged me to follow through with my original plans. Web Master Chris Kinman, Photo Editor Brendan Lutes, my wife Eileen, and I landed in Milan early Tuesday morning. Our plan? To check out some of the sites Italy has to offer, visit the good folks at Alpinestars, and then crush the rest of the American motocross media this weekend with photos, race reports, news, and videos. Eileen thinks she is tagging along for fun, but she is going to be working that plane ticket off! I brought two laptops so that she could post content as fast as Skinny, Lutz and I produce it!!!

Now, you may find it hard to believe, but this is a pure coincidence. Yes, the three of us are all wearing Alpinestars tee shirts, and yes, we are visiting Gabrielle at the Astars factory tomorrow. But I swear - we didn’t call, tweet or text each other before we got on the plane to coordinate our outfits. Really.

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While Eileen and I enjoyed our pasta dishes, Skinny and Lutz went to work on our young Italian waitress. Needless to say, she was mere putty in their hands. By the end of lunch, she was hand-feeding both of them grapes and sitting in their laps. Who says Americans can’t be charming?

Would you believe it? They didn’t have the latest issue of TransWorld Motocross at this newsstand in downtown Milan. Sheesh…I’d better give the guys in the newsstand department a call!

Jeff Weiner and Tim Collins from Alpinestars USA are also in town for the MXoN, and we joined them for dinner in Asolo at an amazing little hole in the wall. Yes, Skinny, Lutz and I changed. haha

Okay, now some of you may have seen an e-mail that circulated around a few years ago. The subject line was something like, “When Asians take pictures.” Inside, were a ton of funny ass photo of Asian guys striking a variety of ridiculous poses while they snapped tourist photos. Today, as we visited a massive cathedral in Milan, I gasped with delight as I spotted a real-life specimen in action. I wasted little time and managed to capture him, just as he prepared to strike a pose. This was better than any mullet I have ever captured.

Now, through the years I have learned that shooting a poster model from waist level or below can give her a longer, leaner appearance. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, shooting them from above can make them look short and stumpy. But seriously, folks. I have never contorted into a position like THIS to get a photo. What the hell is this? This guy was a good 5′8″ or so, but he scrunched down into a little ball that could have fit into a used Big Mac container! Let’s be honest, I have two bad knees and couldn’t physically get into the position anyway, but I’d only attempt to strike this pose if I was taking a dump in the woods.

The lady in the green shirt almost tripped over the Asian Ansel Adams because she left the house wearing her Nintendo 3-D glasses on and didn’t see the little ball of yellow flesh at her feet. What’s the moral of this story? I don’t know. I just hope that was one hell of a photo of the concubine and the chapel behind her. Heck, maybe I will try that angle out at the races this weekend…